#it's kind of ridiculous honestly
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I think I prefer this top-down way of depicting my dragons. I'm gonna have to make a bottom-up version too since a fair few dragon breeds have countershading...
Anyway, here's what Grizzle and Moondance's patterns look like. I'm much happier with this version of Moondance compared to the previous one in terms of markings. This also gives a really good idea of how different dragons have different wing shapes, especially Griz and Dance. Dance is made for speed and distance. Griz is made for fast maneuvering in tight quarters.
I already talked about Dawnchaser dragons (Moondance), so I guess we'll give a little love to Blacktails (Griz) below
The most common species of wild dragon in the Craglands - the floating mountains that dominate the west side of Ostrera - is the Blacktail. While the two of subspecies vary in size depending on their region, a common Blacktail measures in at 18ft long with a wingspan of 25ft, and an average weight of 550lb. They have fairly short necks and tails and have strongly muscled legs. Females grow larger than males, but can also be identified by their lack of wing stripes. Both sexes have rough, twisting facial horns and a pair of rigid fins at the end of their tails.
Blacktails are named for their distinctive coloration: a flat orange-brown color that darkens to black or dark brown around their heads and tails. Their bellies and undersides of their wings are a pale cream, while the tops of their wings are a darker brown shade than their bodies. Males have distinctive cream-and-white stripes on the tops of their wings, as well as a series of large spots at the edges. Female have these spots as well, but lack the stripes.
Most Blacktails will live their entire lives in the canyons of the Craglands, rarely venturing above the mountaintops into open air. Their wings are perfectly formed for navigating narrow canyons and tight spaces, but are poorly suited to soaring. Most Blacktails nest on the narrow ledges within the wider valleys where they can use their preferred hunting method: dropping from above onto unsuspecting prey. Because they don't spend much time in open air they aren't typically a danger to human settlements, but have been known to try and take over cliff dwellings for nesting on occasion.
In the wild, Blacktails form close family units composed primarily of females and hatchlings. A single female - usually the mother or grandmother to most of the flock - acts as leader. All members of the flock work together to raise their young, who usually remain with their birth flock for two years. After this time, males will disperse - joining a bachelor flock or remaining alone - while females either stay with the flock or break off to form their own if the birth flock has grown too large. The bonds in Blacktail flocks are extremely strong, and if one member is attacked the rest are quick to defend it.
Blacktails have a distinctive, cough-like call that is often likened to laughter. This call is used to help flock members find each other in the twisting canyons of the Craglands
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they should've been at the club(infertility treatment centers)
#like guys. be real with me. how many options did you even try before turning to dark magic#nothing about the situation called for all that😭#in my mind they're like 22 and 25 here which makes it all even funnier#guys please just adopt a dog or something😭#nothing about either of you screams ready for parenthood#im so happy adrien agreste exists but the circumstances of his birth are so ridiculous#there is so much gabe and emilie couldve done besides this. they could have done anything#honestly knowing them(<-girl who believes she knows them) im not even convinced the infertility treatment wasnt working#I think they just both were so allured by the concept of a magic baby#they were like six months in and hadn't gotten pregnant yet and were like. well. I guess we're out of options! dark magic it is!#and made it everyone else's problem forever#these two wanted to be doomed by the narrative SO bad#honestly though being a 22 year old girl I kind of yet it. sometimes I see a cute baby and want one so bad maybe I too would use dark magic#maybe emilie agreste was just a girl.#anyway. sorry adrien that your parents were Like This but it is so so funny#anna rambles#ml#gabriel agreste#emilie agreste
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If buddie isnt meant to be romantic can someone tell oliver stark and ryan guzman bc i dont think they know
#these guys have been eyefucking each other on camera for 5 years#it's getting to be kind of ridiculous honestly#911 fox#fox 911#evan buckley#911#eddie diaz#buddie#oliver stark#ryan guzman
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Learn from who? Learn from you? You are still a brat. What do you know? You're only three years older. Like you are any better than me. You're 21, and still a virgin. What are you proud of? I think you can't do it.
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 06
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#userspicy#userrain#pdribs#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#*gestures at the caption* this is honestly the funniest argument they could possibly have idfk what to tell you. it's very ai di#meanwhile whatever's going through chen yi's head rn has recently been doused with 'the boss doesnt care abt me like that'#after watching cdy and zml at dinner. like chen yi already knows *before* ep9 & ai dis confession that cdy will never look at him#(the diff. between this scene & ep9's. is him failing in regards to the gang as well in cdy's eyes. he goes from feelings of disappointment#& irritability to complete despair and both times he drinks to cope. bc hes not enough in cdy's eyes in ANY of the ways he wants/hoped)#so honestly the crisis chen yi goes thru right here isnt unfounded at all hes literally dealing w an inadvertent rejection of his feelings#its chaos in his head and ai di is picking at him again and the wine is tilting in his blood and then- 'learn from who? learn from you?'#like what do YOU know about love ai di (WHILE CHEN YI'S PULLING HIM LIKE THAT-) so OF COURSE ai di goes for the deepest dig he can.#'i bet you cant get hard that explains how much of a coward you are'. its ridiculous the ways in which they push each other over the edge#but im ngl im kind of obsessed the way chen yi's tipsy line of thinking 'learn from you?' turned into the action 'fuck it learn from ME'#ANYWAY EVERYONE GO LISTEN TO 'LOSE CONTROL' BY TEDDY SWIMS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. THe most chen yi song pre-ep9
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oh, so when other people indulge in their special interests and find joy in their hobbies it's "joyful" and "whimsical" and "autism swag", but when i, mr veils,
#tune in next time for more bad FL posts with yin#yin-thoughts#fallen london#do you think the vake used autism girlpower when it slaughtered a ridiculous number of people over the course of centuries#including its own kind. indiscriminately. for the sillies.#iron is my favorite master in my heart but honestly veils is top tier in every other aspect. there's just. there's so much going on here#it's a serial killer it's a sex icon it's a dandy it's the subject of doomed divorced yaoi. it's even on some level a theater kid
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being very truthful i wasn't feeling particularly positive about the trailer for TIT (still bought tix though hi nyc <3) and am holding out hope they do a little more teasing for what this tour is actually about in future videos,
but i cannot deny that this specific frame of it
("we basically raised half of them." - phil)
like very specifically got me? like obviously yes the bit is like, they're our dads i started watching them age twelve et cetera but. i don't know. with the way all of this is laid out, the contrasting colors that blend together and the silhouettes on their respective sides (as we always view them, dan to the left & phil to the right) and the screens, it says so loudly like... it's dan and phil, side by side. it's the two of them. it's been them for the last fifteen years.
it's a we, it's a testament that this kinda sacred thing of 'dan and phil' has lasted a really long time, and survived a hiatus, solely because dan and phil themselves have known each other and existed alongside each other for those fifteen years. and yes, obviously, this trailer is all scripted, but this exchange still has this feeling of it being about them, not just their brand together-- they aren't really talking to the audience, here, are they? it wasn't solely 'dan and phil' content that raised the audience; dan and phil did. (maybe a redundant point, but i am working off of the negative space here. a lot of this feels like intertwining themselves with their online personas, and simultaneously walking that line. letting us see only what they want to be shown, and now examining that introspectively).
i hope that makes sense, i'm not much of an analyst or theorist. i don't know what the dan and phil renaissance really is yet, and i am a bit afraid of it all, but i'm really excited, both for everything that's to come but also -- more importantly -- i'm just fucking excited for them.
for this bond between them and the phandom to blossom in the healthy ways it has been lately, for the opening of new doors amidst this phan renaissance... and for them to take back what the internet took from them.
#astra.txt#dan and phil#TIT tour#is this nonsense? sorry. i'm a little anxious right now so i'm writing my way through it#obviously okay to rb btw!! everything is unless you physically can't thanks to the helpful settings#also part of my crit mentioned at the beginning might honestly be due to the stressful experience of trying to get tickets-#-and then them dropping a like. non descriptive teaser. just kind of personally unsettled me#not that i particularly think they owe us anything like i made a conscious decision lol. do not take this as me Blaming Them-#-For Me Buying Tickets that's ridiculous. it's just a note.#also i don't really know how to phrase this in the post but i am not trying to overstep into assuming i know them as people etc.#like yeah we do only see what they want us to see. but that's kind of what this is about isn't it? a little bit? maybe.
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Hey, y'all, I'm going through a crisis right now, so I may not be as active as usual. I apologize in advance for any asks left unanswered for a while. Unfortunately, I just can't handle, well, much of anything right now. I'm sorry.
#blog post#blog update#personal#honestly i want to make a vent post#but I'm kind of terrified of making people extremely uncomfortable#because shit is fucking insane over here#seriously it is ridiculous and intense#and i have been pushed to the point of crisis#so yeah probably not the best thing to post about#even if i am genuinely feeling desperate
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As a Sakura fan, that second confession to Sasuke hurt my soul. Sakura had to have killed Kishimoto’s grandma or something because that man must loathe her.
Sweet dreams ml 🫶🫶 when you wake up, hopefully I’ll have forgotten this entire scene.
He always does it after she’s doing so well too 😭 That sucker punch she gave to Kaguya had me so pumped.
#this one honestly hurt way more than the naruto one#the naruto one was fake and i totally understood what she was trying to do#it wasnt kind but i got it and i honestly liked what it added to her character#her trying to kill sasuke was a really interesting way to go#every time sasuke comes up kishimoto does sakura so dirty#let my girl breathe#this scene felt like you were supposed to feel sad like you would for those#tragic romance movie breakups#but it felt so ridiculous#‘this is pitiful’ youre right girl please stand up 😭#ily tho#sakura haruno#sasuke uchiha#anti ss#anti sasusaku#then kakashi follows up with the worst dialogue#‘sakura just wanted to help you’ yet all she was saying was ‘please dont leave me’#shes 16 and theres nothing wrong with that#but what were claiming and what actually happened is nott matching up
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Just started Deadalive and I'm sorry but does Skinners whole"i don't truly think he was the last one" line mean what I think it means? Bc standing over Mulder's grave at his FUNERAL and basically just going "Scully, I know that's his fucking baby" IS INSANE!!! Like am I misinterpreting that as being apart of Scully's thing about him being the last of his family or whatever and meaning he doesn't believe Mulder was the last of his family to die? Bc that's all I can think that means and looking at Scully at Mulder's funeral and being like "Hey I know it's a weird time to bring it up bc your.....partner?.... just died but I just want to say I know that baby's gonna have his last name" is just nuts
#x files#txf#msr#or maybe hes talking about samantha#but that doesn't really make sense either#idk but it was so ridiculous to me that it actually made me laugh#which honestly makes sense bc im the kind of person to laugh at funerals irl#its just the nervous/awkwardness of it#not in like an mean or disrespectful way
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bridgerton part 2 thots
- colin and pen weren’t that interesting because once they were “in love” all their relationship became was talking about how in love they were and how they’re so bright and kind
- never been more excited than when benedict was offered that threesome it’s everything I could want and more
- violet and lord anderson are The couple of the season the school girl crush the awkward flirting and genuine trust and support??? polin wishes they could
- cressida could have been a lesbian with eloise but instead she really fucked herself over
- why do they keep giving penelope edges it looks so bad
- anthony and kate Slayyyyyyy
- yes colin is hot but he’s just not Interesting
- so many of the polin love monologues suck like they’re just not good why was it written like this
- francesca already gave us autism and now she’s giving lesbianism???? queers stay Winning
- damn pen got on that pregnancy Fast good for her ig
#just need eloise to get a gf#it could’ve been cressida but she fucked it#also the hallmark ass ending??? like I know it’s Bridgerton but the last two seasons were not this ridiculous#season is a 3/5 tbh#I did scream a Lot during it tho#and honestly bi benedict made up for all the shit parts#bridgerton#penelope featherington#colin bridgerton#benedict bridgerton#eloise bridgerton#cressida cowper#I do kind of love the featherington sisters tho
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why are you, as an adult in 2024, still hung up on reylo. why are you still mocking the shippers. why do you believe yourself to be superior only because you dislike a stupid ship from a fucking space fairytale. girl (gnc) get a grip
#it's ridiculous. this ship is... stupidly cliché. like if you know fandoms at all#you could easily guess why people would be into it. hello?? have you tried to watch tfa without your hate-on-kyle-ron goggles?#did you watch their scenes together? you don't have to like something to recognize the hints#hell. at the time i didn't really like jonerys but i realized they were going to be a thing when i read agot in 2011#like folks. it's been nearly TEN LONG YEARS. let it go. LET IT FUCKING GOOOO#and for the lucy/cooper shippers out there who think reylos are (again) delusional when they compare the two ships:#no. *you* are being delusional only because you think reylo is unsexy and uncool (which is your right to think btw. obv)#if you can't see why someone would like both of these pairings for similar reasons... idk what to say honestly#people compared it to hannigram... honestly. again i see why they would appeal to anyone who's into both ships#i really do. but... unpopular opinion (since i'm more of a clannibal fan than i could ever be of reylo):#they are more similar to reylo than will/hannibal. there i said it#i'm not talking about the writing (admittedly the quality of it was questionable). i'm talking about tropes#never mind that imo the ghoul is more akin to vader than kylo but whatever#hannibal is an unapologetic kind of villain. he's not gonna have a redemption arc and that's okay#cooper is an antivillain who used to be a good man and became a disfigured cruel bastard. a parody of himself#lucy is him. him before the bombs dropped before he discovered the person he trusted the most wanted to commit genocide#nice. moral. polite. infused with the Good Old American Values™. he's basically her dark side#all of this is very hannigram/clannibal. i'm not denying it at all#but what'll likely happen is that lucy's actions will have a positive influence on the ghoul and remind him of what it means to be a man#and that's way more reylo-like. sorry.#beauty&thebeast/villain with some hidden good in him+morally righteous heroine/enemies to lovers etc.#i mean. hello??..... having said that. i'm not so much of a reylo shipper anymore and tbh never was. i really liked it at the time#but i was never fond of the st era. my fav characters are vader and leia and revan from the old eu. just saying#*and* it's also not impossible lucy gets darker with the ghoul as her traveling companion. in fact i wouldn't dislike it at all#if done well i mean#but i would still like for people to be intellectually honest and less puerile. god knows i have my notps#but i really don't give a fuck about the shippers. good for them i guess? i have better taste lmao but that's heavily subjective#val rambles in the tags#val speaks#txt
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Idk if this is controversial, but studying for a English/writing degree at university shouldn’t make you NOT want to engage with writing or literature. Just a thought.
#the amount of times one of my literature professors presented us with the worst reading or interpretation (some of which were just plain#revolting) of a piece of literature almost as if she were expecting us to like it just because it was sensational and me and everyone else#going ‘um. no. sorry. not only does that make no sense but now I kind of want to throw up’#I just came here to read some gothic lit and honestly I’m feeling so attacked right now. (my fault for signing up for gothic lit I suppose)#her English survey class made me never want to look at the written word again#however I know this isn’t me having an issue with survey classes (although the rate they make you read at is kind of ridiculous and I read#fast: case in point for one of them I had to read Huck Finn in 9 days)#because I took American Survey from another professor and it was really challenging but probably the best course I ever took at university#I was not expecting to develop such a distaste for the academic world at uni but maybe that’s just my university (whenever I complain about#this my mom always tells me I need to watch Dead Poet’s Society lol)#siggggghhh anyway. hoping for some better classes with my exchange program (although none of them are writing/English as I’m almost#finished with my degree)#english lit#university#english#college
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4. shower
wow look it's another chapter!!! like... not that long after the last one, even! honestly I had the first 3 sections of this basically entirely written not long after finishing the last one, but eventually I decided I should probably do literally anything else for a while (hyperfocus is a real dick lol), and so I'm just now getting back to it. I thought this was gonna be on the shorter side, but it's about the same as the last one, around 1.3k! there's a pretty important reveal in this one...
Content warnings for this chapter: box boy universe, pet whump, dehumanization, conditioning, infected wounds, (severe) illness. As always, please let me know if there's anything else I need to tag.
[masterlist] [chapter three]
Vanessa’s never been particularly sensitive to scents—it’s a saving grace, in a mind where too much light or sound or texture can make her feel like she’s dying. But by the time the guy lying shaking on the seats behind her practically falls out of the taxi in front of her stoop, even she’s having a hard time with the smell coming off of him. Given how the driver peels away with all his windows down the second she pulls the last scrap of soiled newspaper from his backseat, it probably isn’t just her.
She turns back to the guy, for the first time finally alone with him. She’s too short to be used to talking down to people, but he’s hunched himself into that weird curled-up position again, so when she speaks it's aimed vaguely toward the top of his head. “Okay. First things first, we’re getting your ass in the shower,” she tells him. “And then we can deal with the effects of my questionable life decisions.” She pauses for a moment, considers. “Well. This one, anyway.”
There’s no way she’s getting him in through the front like this. Too many stairs, and too much dirt. The garden door will have to cut it. She motions for him to follow her down the alley, and he unfurls himself just enough to shuffle after her.
As soon as the shadows close in around them, she looks back over her shoulder. When she’s satisfied that no one can see them, she unclasps the collar from around his neck and tosses it, leash and all, into the garbage.
—
Vanessa can’t say she’s ever been grateful for the fact that her parents are insane enough to have a swimming pool in the basement of their New York fucking brownstone. Quite frankly, she still isn’t; they got the fucker installed when she was a kid and she screamed for so many days they finally packed her off to a hotel with her nanny of the week just to shut her up. Which they probably should have done in the first place, given that she was nine and there was a jackhammer in her fucking basement.
What she is grateful for now, though, is that the part of this floor that isn’t taken up by the pool—or the hot tub, or the weirdly redundant multi-person bathtub—is a shower stall the size of her literal bedroom. Complete with benches, and removable showerheads, and, she’s hoping, everything else she could possibly need right now.
“In here,” she motions, and he drags himself onto the tiles. “I’d offer you the weirdly redundant multi-person bathtub, but you’ve barely been able to keep your head up all day and the last thing I need is to fucking drown a guy in my basement. Also no offense but you’re literally so dirty right now I’d have to drain the fucker the second you got in. After this you can have a bath whenever you want, if you’re into that sorta thing, but for right now you’re getting a damn rinse.”
—
Once he’s more or less situated on the built-in shower bench, propped up in the corner in hopes it’ll keep him from falling ass over, Vanessa gets to work, still fully clothed down to her chucks on the marble tile. She unhooks a showerhead and aims it at the drain while it warms up. ���Is this okay?” she asks, pointing it at his feet, and he flinches sluggishly but doesn’t respond either way.
“I don’t know what that means, guy.” She tests the water again with her hand. “It can’t be that bad, can it?” she muses out loud. “It’s the same temperature I’d use for me, and fuck knows I’m… y’know, picky. So if you want it different you gotta tell me, okay.”
He doesn’t tell her shit. But he doesn’t flinch too much harder when she moves the stream of water up toward his knees, either, and she figures that’s the best she’s gonna get.
She leans over him and focuses the showerhead on his hair. It’s matted stiff as tree bark, the water barely able to permeate through the layers of filth. “Shit, I dunno man, your hair’s got so much crap in it. Not to mention it wouldn’t surprise me if that shelter gave you goddamn lice.” She shudders. “Might be better off just cutting it short.”
There’s a noise she barely registers as a gasp before his ice-pale eyes fly open and he clutches her arm, quicker than she’s seen him move by fucking light years. She jerks automatically out of his grip, dropping the showerhead in her alarm, but he fixes her with a lidless, panicky stare and the eye contact is so startling she’s frozen to the spot. “Please…” he wheezes, “don’t.”
“You fuckin’ what, dude?”
“Don’t… cut… my hair.”
She blinks, astonished. “That’s the first thing you’ve said all fucking day, isn’t it?” He doesn’t offer another. “Christ. Typical fuckin’ me not to notice.” She huffs quietly. “Well shit, dude, I guess if you give enough of a fuck to speak up about it it can stay. But so help me if I find a single fucking nit in there.”
He whimpers quietly, squeezing his eyes shut, but he doesn’t say another word.
—
Vanessa gingerly retrieves the showerhead from where it’s spattering up at the ceiling, along with an oversized lace bath pouf and a mostly-full bottle of body wash she’s pretty sure is fucking designer. If you could see me now, Mom, she thinks, squirting the gel at his left shoulder, the one closest to her. You… well, you probably still wouldn’t give a shit.
She touches the pouf to his sullied skin as gently as she can, and she knows she’s not well-coordinated at the best of times but she really doesn’t feel like she deserves the choked-off sound he makes or the way he shrinks away from her when she makes contact. “Oh cmon, guy, look I know but you gotta let me get this shit off you, there’s no way it’s not fucking your shit up worse than it already is,” she cajoles, and whatever she’s said it makes something in his posture go slack and he rolls back toward her, opening himself to her touch. “Thanks, uh, I think,” she hedges, and begins to lather him up with slow, concentrative strokes. She flicks the shower back on, sluicing suds and dirt from his skin in equal measure.
"Ohhh, fucking yiiiiikes," Vanessa says softly.
With the first layer of filth washed away, Vanessa can see the far grimmer reality that’s been hidden underneath. Rows of jagged, infected gashes streak their way across his shoulder to his chest. The skin around them burns an angry red, the wounds themselves all but smothered in sickly whitish-yellow. What narrow swathes of skin remain intact are mottled purple, and now that she’s touching him, she can tell he’s just… way too much hotter than any person should ever be.
She lowers the temperature of the water and keeps washing him, afraid to look but needing to see. Each stroke only reveals more of the same. His chest and left shoulder seem to have gotten most of the worst of it, but there are stripes across his arm, his back, his stomach, deep gouges in his legs. She hasn’t tried to touch his face yet, but now that she knows what to look for she thinks she can even see a scratch or several across his cheek, trailing up into his hairline. Jesus fuck.
It all makes a sinister sort of sense now, she thinks: the shallow breathing, the shivers, the near-total lack of response. And here she thought he just had regular rescuee trauma.
“Fuck,” she breathes out quietly, as the realization creeps over her like ice.
There’s something really, really wrong with this guy.
-
taglist: @maracujatangerine @pigeonwhumps @tragedyinblue @marchtothefuckingsea @octopus-reactivated @briars7
#whump#pet whump#rescue whump#recovery whump#bbu#box boy universe#vanessa + juniper#disaster caretaker#imperfectly consistent#tw dehumanization#tw conditioning#tw illness#tw injury#tw infection#do I like... need to tag for language?#I know using swears is pretty standard for bbu/pet whump stories#but I also use them kind of a uh. non standard amount.#I kinda feel like vanessa's house needs a tw of its own lmao#I honestly have fun making up all the increasingly ridiculous rich person shit#anyway I've got a decent bit of the next chapter written already (wrote it at some point back when I was working on 2 or 3 tbh)#and that's more or less it for stuff I have fully written out in advance#(from the main storyline at least)#but a lot of the stuff that follows that is stuff I've had in my head for ages#so hopefully it won't be too hard to write out! knock on wood#sometimes the things you think about that much come easily when you finally write them#and sometimes they're nigh on impossible bc you get obsessive with doing them justice#or at least just like. remembering all the ideas you've ever had for them when you finally sit down to write#hello it's me writing a novel in the tags again#anyway I've been falling asleep since somewhere in the middle of proofreading so I should probably wrap this up lol#if you read all this for some reason hi!
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"Yeah, sometimes I wonder if there's things we'll never explain. You know, like...You know, what if we did answer all the questions, you know? Would-Would we live on, like, forever? Happy with our triumph over ignorance? Or is ignorance just a common enemy that...once destroyed would leave our species without...a reason to carry on...Yeah, I guess it really doesn't matter what the answer is. Because even if supreme knowledge would bring about the end of our species, the thought of obtaining it is...just what keeps us together...You know? People will always look up at the sky and just...wonder why we're here...WATER BISON POWERS! ACTIVATE!"
-Captain Micheal J. Caboose from the popular (and now dead) webseries Red vs. Blue
#micheal j caboose#red vs blue#red vs blue quotes#this is from the higgs pozos psa#just in case anyone is wondering#honestly this quote alone captures everything you need to know about Caboose as a character and the kind of show Red vs Blue is#surprisingly poignant at times and ridiculously yet hilariously stupid at other times
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okay don giovanni review from last night. under the cut bc it's me. tldr the vocal performances were great, leporello carried the show, one of the most insane productions i've seen thus far but somehow in a new bizarre direction from normal. good snacks.
first of all i don't care how much wine you offer i think it's kind of ridiculous to charge $165 for a base ticket price for a performance that 1. isn't even in a concert hall or theater 2. is a concert performance rather than a staged performance (which was not advertised ahead of time) and 3. was not even a full production because they made the absolutely mind boggling decision to cut 100% of the recitative and replace it with Some Guy sitting on the stage narrating the plot between every 1-3 numbers
i did not pay that much gd bless. the student ticket was way cheaper.
the narration wasn't even good it was weirdly ungenerous to the women (like how do you even make elvira out be a "women, amirite" thing and also vaguely imply anna was into it in a production with zero acting? well they figured something out) and i don't think it even explained well enough what happens between each number to truly give a first time watcher a good idea of what's actually going on. not to mention that it absolutely kills any sense of momentum in the plot and makes the entire show drag like hell, because you have to wait between every single aria for either Some Guy to talk at you for three minutes straight, or wait awkwardly while people onstage walk off and people offstage walk on. it was so painfully clunky
they had a piano up there but since there was no recit it's not like she was accompanying much of anything. in practice what it ended up being used for was 1. the mandolin part for deh vieni (acceptable in the absence of a mandolin player; they were working with a limited chamber ensemble of musicians so i get it) 2. the party music at the end of act i (egregious fault imo because it absolutely kills the vibe of the scene and completely obfuscates the way the music is supposed to be adding to the tension and chaos with its different instrumental groups playing in different meters)
and 3. used to give singers their notes when the vocal line of their arias start on beat 1 measure 1, which they otherwise would have been able to get from the preceding recits (which is imo painfully amateurish for an ostensibly professional production)
all the numbers in act i were there although the narration was so bad i got jumpscared by fin ch'han dal vino because i forgot it was supposed to be there and thought we had skipped over that point in the plot. act ii had some really bizarre additional cuts made, notably they just entirely skipped over meta di voi and vedrai carino. it was like masetto and zerlina fuck off for the entirety of act ii save for, like, mille torbidi (they VERY briefly mentioned masetto getting beat up in the narration and i don't think they mentioned vedrai carino at all, they just skipped straight from deh vieni to sola sola. and also there was a painful awkward pause before deh vieni because i think the pianist forgot she was supposed to play there and the narrator jumped ahead to the next chunk of plot explanation too early). kept both dalla and tesoro (i'm fine with this ottavio was quite good though could've used a bit of ornamentation imo), kept mi tradi, kept non mi dir (more on that in a bit). no per queste which is probably a good thing not only for the show itself but also my head would have absolutely and irreversibly exploded if they had, probably
the whole thing kind of felt underrehearsed. like a quarter of the time it seemed like people didn't know what they were doing or had to be reminded where to be at that point in the show. and there were a few moments throughout where the orchestra struggled to keep up with the singers, but i really don't think they had much time to rehearse together, honestly.
and then, to my utter shock, the finale was actually really good?? like. insane compared to the rest of the show thus far. though it helps that 1. i absolutely love the harmonieband arrangements of cosa rara/i litiganti/non piu andrai, after possibly the draggiest non mi dir i've yet experienced it was like a breath of fresh air to hear that (and non mi dir was actually well performed i liked this anna but considering how much the Entire Show was dragging, the fact that they cut meta di voi and vedrai carino, AND the fact that they promised this act would be short, it felt crazy to me to keep it at that point.)
2. leporello and the don were by far the best performers of the night. so much so that i sought them out during the post show reception to tell them how great they were and enjoyed their performance. which i usually do not do, but in this like, high school recital ass production value. unbelievable relief that the final scene is dominated by the two actors in the show who most remembered that they can, and in fact Should, be acting. so much more movement and physicality and expression from those two compared to most everyone else. leporello especially, his actor apparently specializes in comedic bass roles and it shows, he was the standout all night
and 3. for the first time in the entire production they made an interesting decision regarding the physical space and staging! they had the commendatore sing from up on a balcony overlooking the audience in the foyer. the bar admittedly was set very low in the previous act and a half but the finale reminded me that i actually like this show again which is appreciated
though they then threw another curveball at me by Cutting the sextet at the end. which like didn't even piss me off at that point i was just baffled. like the don sinks down in agony and leporello sinks down whimpering in fear and the orchestra cuts off. and i'm expecting an awkward pause while they quietly get up and shuffle off so the rest of the cast can come back but nope. big orange title slate appears on the big screen behind them and the audience breaks into a roaring applause and the announcement of the wine and dessert reception. felt like i was in a fever dream
i will say the desserts were very nearly almost worth the bullshit that was the preceding show. they were so good. thank you austria for your dedication to pastry. and because i don't drink and couldn't appreciate the free wine offered i had to indulge in my own manner. spread contained chocolate oat bites (tasted as much like espresso powder as chocolate and coated in coconut, 4/10), almond sponge cake (classic, 7/10), cardamom apple bread pudding with caramel cream (not enough cardamom but otherwise very tasty and autumnal, 8.5/10) and honey cake (11/10. i don't know how they made this so good. i want more right now so much). i take both my mozart opera and my desserts very seriously.
anyway overall the production was. i would say frustrating. the singing quality was Really Good (leporello was the clear standout, probably followed by the don though i prefer my dons with a lighter voice but technically he was very good, then probably ottavio, then maybe masetto or anna. the commendatore was great but he's in it so little it's hard to compare)
i just wish they could have, like, actually done a full production. it would have been so great if they had gotten to tell the actual story and had been fully allowed to act. when there Was acting were the best moments of the show, and it's really unsurprising that most of that came from leporello, the absolute legend.
#no one respects a galant recit anymore. smh#sasha speaks#sasha reviews#don giovanni#opera tag#Really weird production. seemed designed to piss me off specifically in many aspects#frustrating in others because it DID have a lot of (mostly and regrettably squandered) promise that shone through in moments#but the singing was good. when there Was acting that was good. the desserts were good. the narration was dogshit i hate that so much#could not have fathomed producing a performance with a narrator replacing a recit#ZERO clue how they plan on applying that model to fanciulla later in the season.#if they do at all but it seems like a Thing for this company maybe? idk#don't know if i'll go see their carmen next spring. maybe it depends on my schedule#i think carmen might suffer a little less from the narration treatment comparatively since it can already be done with dialogue#as opposed to recit#idek how you'd do a puccini like that though. unless you just completely disregard narrative flow and comprehension#which honestly maybe they do. at least the flow part. including narration feels like they WANT comprehension (even if they do it poorly)#but don't seem to care about the flow considering how it butchered one of the best operas in the repertoire so far.#seriously if you just do what's written on the page for dg you have a slam dunk. and they deliberately chose not to. baffling#anyway carmen is at the french embassy next spring so maybe i just go to practice my french.#and see if they compete with austria for their refreshment spread.#and yes i realize now that part of the high ticket price is meant to cover the wine and desserts but i still think it's kind of ridiculous#okay done now bye.
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well. I signed the contract and put the deposit down for a flat and move next week!!
#ummed and ahhed for a little bit because I decided not to stay in the city I'm from and work in#because I just do not want to pay that rent honestly lol#so am staying in the city my dad lives in since staying with him gave me the chance to see how I'd feel about living here#and it's so much cheaper ridiculously so#the commute is fine and seeing friends will be just as easy#plus it's just kind of exciting to live somewhere new#we'll see how it goes!! thankful they offered a 6 month tenancy so if I hate it it's okay lol#maybe then I can live out my peak district fantasy 😌#but!! my own space!!#have never not shared a kitchen and have never actually had a sofa of my own so it feels very exciting
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